Guidance & Counseling

Stress relief tips for home

2011-04-08T06:16:00.000-07:00

Home should be a place where we can rest and be calm. These quick stress relief techniques can help you to achieve a sense of inner peace at home.

Try to avoid spending the evening slumped in front of the TV. Maybe you could revive an old hobby, or take up a new one.
Relax! Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing. Stay like this for 5-10 minutes.
Set aside a regular time to relax in your own favourite way. Home is a place for rest and rejuvenation and you should give yourself time for it.
Have a laugh. Whether it's watching a funny movie, or laughing with your family and friends, laughter is a great stress reliever.
Cut yourself some slack! Don't beat yourself up thinking you need a showcase home, and if you burn the dinner, get takeaway!
Make sure you get enough sleep. Try going to bed half an hour earlier and see whether it makes a difference to how you handle your life.
Treat yourself to a long soak in the tub. Envelop the senses with soothing smells, gentle candle light, relaxing music, and lots of bubbles.
Give yourself a massage! Massage your scalp and face with your fingertips. Use small circling motions and a light pressure. Of course, if you can persuade someone else to do it for you, that's even better!

Stress relief tips

2011-04-08T05:12:00.000-07:00

Most of us suffer from stress at work. Whether it's an ongoing problem, or an occasional crisis, these quick stress relief techniques can help you to regain a sense of inner peace in the middle of a hectic day.

Leave the workplace for a few minutes. Removing yourself from your environment for even a few minutes is one of the most powerful things you can do. Make sure you pick a place where you won't be interrupted by colleagues.
If it's the thing that you're currently working on that's stressing you out, try switching to another task for a while. Even if it's an urgent task, doing something else will give you breathing space and you can come back to it later feeling fresher.
Play some music that moves you. Stop what you're doing for a few minutes and really listen to the music. When you continue work, you'll feel refreshed.
Schedule some time each day to deal with unexpected things that need to be dealt with. If you've already allocated time to deal with these things you'll usually find them easier to handle.
Take a moment to breath slowly and deeply. Fill your lungs then exhale completely. Just a few deep breaths will make you feel much calmer.
Lightly massage your forehead and temples. Use your fingertips to make small circles all over the area, paying particular attention to the area just above your eyebrows. Vary the pressure according to what feels good for each area.
Try a few simple stretches. Find yourself a quiet spot (the toilets will do if there's no where else suitable) and spend a few moments stretching out your arms and legs. Relax and shake out your arms and legs when you're finished.
Plan something rewarding for the end of the day. Knowing that you've got something to look forward to can make a big difference.

If you wants to relief from stress please contact us

For Direct Consultation

Please Visit

Vivekanantha Homoeo Clinic & Psychological Counselling Centre
Dr.D.Senthil Kumar, B.H.M.S., M.D(Alt Med)., M.Phil(Psy)
Consulting Homoeopath & Psychologist

Chennai Camp
(Consultation by Appointment only)
Every Saturday: - 11.00 am to 7.00 pm (Only for Psychological consultation)
Every Sunday: - 11.00 am to 04.00 pm (Medicine Treatment & Psychological Consultation)
At
Sri Chakra Flats
No.54-F3 vijaya nagar 3rd Main road
Velachery
Chennai-42
(Nearby Vijayanagar Bus Terminus)

NB:-
Ø We are taking only minimum number of patients per day.
Ø We are allotting 40 to 5o minutes for new patients & 15 to 20 minutes for follow-ups.
Ø So be there at time to avoid unwanted waiting
Ø For Psychological consultation “we concentrate more to client’s privacy, so we are allotting 40 to 50 minutes/client – so be there at time”

For Appointment
Please call: 09443054168, 09786901830

For Foreign patients & Online Treatment
For more detail and mode of payment
Send mail to consult.ur.dr@gmail.com
Or
Call +91 9443054168, +91 9786901830

Main Clinic
Vivekanantha Homoeo Clinic & Psychological Counselling Center
No.8.Rajaji Salai (Near Valli Villas Jewellery),
Panruti-607106,
Cuddalore district,
Tamil nadu,
India

Timings
Monday to Saturday
10.30 am to 12.45 pm & 05.30 pm to 9.00 pm

For Appointment
Please call: 09443054168, 09786901830
(Sunday Consultation by Appointment only)

http://homeoall.com/
Professional secrecy will be maintained
(Your complaints and other Details should be kept very confidential)

Some psycho conditions

2009-09-05T06:06:00.000-07:00

Some psycho conditions

Adjustment disorders: A type of condition with emotional or behavioural symptoms that occur in response to identifiable stress in a person's life.

Affective disorder (also called mood disorder): A category of mental health problems that includes a disturbance in mood, usually profound sadness or apathy, euphoria or irritability, such as the disorder depression.

Agoraphobia: A Greek word that literally means "fear of the marketplace." This anxiety disorder is characterized by a fear of open, public places or of being in crowds. Agoraphobics often experience panic attacks in a place or situation from which escape may be difficult or embarrassing.

Amnestic disorder (also called amnesia): A brain disorder marked by memory impairment.

Anger: The experience of intense annoyance that inspires hostile and aggressive thoughts and actions.

Anorexia nervosa (also called anorexia): An eating disorder characterized by low body weight, a distorted body image, an extreme aversion to food and an intense fear of gaining weight.

Antidepressants: Medications that treat depression, as well as other psychiatric disorders.

Children, teens and adults being treated with antidepressants, particularly anyone being treated for depression, should be watched closely for worsening of depression and for increased suicidal thinking or behaviour. Close watching may be especially important early in treatment or when the dose is changed - either increased or decreased. Bring up your concerns immediately with a doctor.

Antisocial personality disorder: A disorder characterized by a disregard for the feelings, property, authority and respect of others, for an individual's own personal gain. This may include violent or aggressive destructive actions toward other people, without a sense or remorse or guilt.

Anxiety: A feeling of unease and fear of impending danger characterized by physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate, sweating, trembling and feelings of stress. In contrast to fear, the danger or threat in anxiety is imagined, not real.

Anxiety disorders: Conditions characterized by high levels of anxiety. Currently five different anxiety disorders are recognized: generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and social phobia.

Attention-deficit disorder (ADD) and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): A behaviour disorder, usually first diagnosed in childhood that is characterized by inattention, impulsivity and, in some cases, hyperactivity.

Autistic disorder (also called autism): A neurological and developmental disorder that usually appears during the first three years of life. A child with autism appears to live in his/her own world, demonstrating little interest in others and a lack of social awareness. The focus of an autistic child is a consistent routine and includes an interest in repeating odd and peculiar behaviours. Autistic children often have problems in communication, avoid eye contact and show limited attachment to others.

Avoidant personality disorder: People with avoidant personality disorder avoid situations with any potential for conflict or rejection and are disturbed by their own social isolation, withdrawal and inability to form close, interpersonal relationships.

Behavioural therapy: A form of psychotherapy that focuses on modifying observable problematic behaviours by manipulating the individual's environment.

Binge eating disorder: A disorder that resembles bulimia nervosa and is characterized by episodes of excessive overeating (or bingeing). It differs from bulimia, because sufferers do not purge their bodies of the excess food, via vomiting, laxative abuse or diuretic abuse.

Bingeing: A destructive pattern of excessive overeating.

Bipolar disorder: A mood disorder (formerly called manic-depressive disorder) that is characterized by episodes of major depression and mania.

Borderline personality disorder: People with this disorder present instability in their perceptions of themselves, and have difficulty maintaining stable relationships. Moods may also be inconsistent, but never neutral -- their sense of reality is always seen in "black and white." Adults with borderline personality disorder often seek caretaking through the manipulation of others, leaving them often feeling empty, angry and abandoned, which may lead to desperate and impulsive behaviour.

Bulimia nervosa (also called bulimia): A condition characterized by binge eating followed by extreme measures to undo the binge (often vomiting).

Child and adolescent psychiatrist: Licensed physicians who specialize in the evaluation, diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders in children and adolescents.

Chronic: A term used to describe long-term persistence. In some mental health disorders, chronic is specified as persisting for six months or longer.

Claustrophobia: A fear of enclosed spaces.

Cognitive-behavioural therapy: A method of treating psychiatric disorders based on the idea that the way we think about the world and ourselves (our cognitions) affects our emotions and behaviour.

Cognitive disorders: The class of disorders consisting of significant impairment of cognition or memory that represents a marked deterioration from a previous level of functioning.

Cognitive therapy: A method of treating psychiatric disorders that focuses on revising a person's thinking, perceptions, attitudes and beliefs.

Compartmentalization: A process of separating parts of the self from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values. This is considered a defence mechanism.

Compensation: A process of psychologically counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasizing strength in other arenas. This is considered a defence mechanism.

Compulsion: An uncontrollable, repetitive and unwanted urge to perform an act. A compulsive act is a defence against unacceptable ideas and desires, and failure to perform the act leads to anxiety.

Compulsive overeating: A tendency toward binging on large amounts of food, followed by extreme guilt.

Cyclothymia:A mood disorder of at least two years' duration viewed as a mild variant of bipolar disorder. Cyclothymia is characterized by numerous periods of mild depressive symptoms not sufficient in duration or severity to meet the criteria for major depression interspersed with periods of hypomania.

Delirium: A condition in which changes in cognition, including a disturbance in consciousness, occur over a relatively short period of time.

Delusions: Beliefs such as delusions of grandeur that are thought to be true by the person having them, but these beliefs are wrong. People with delusions cannot be convinced that their beliefs are incorrect.

Dementia: A group of mental disorders involving a general loss of intellectual abilities, including memory, judgment and abstract thinking. Dementias may be associated with poor impulse control and personality changes.

Denial: The refusal to accept reality and to act as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist.

Dependent personality disorder: People with this disorder rely heavily on others for validation and fulfilment of basic needs. They often lack self-confidence, have difficulty making decisions and are unable to properly care for themselves.

Depression: A mood disturbance characterized by feelings of sadness, loneliness, despair, low self-esteem, worthlessness, withdrawal from social interaction, and sleep and eating disturbances.

Diagnosis: The determination by a health care professional of the cause of a person's problems, usually by identifying both the disease process and the agent responsible.

Displacement: The redirecting of thoughts, feelings and impulses from a source that causes anxiety to a safer, more acceptable one.

Dyslexia A reading disorder. A child with dyslexia reads below the expected level given his/her age, school grade and intelligence.

Dysthymia (also known as dysthymic disorder): A mood disorder characterized by chronic mildly depressed or irritable mood often accompanied by a loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities that is present most of the time for at least two years. Many people with dysthymia experience major depressive episodes at times.

Eating disorders: Disorders characterized by abnormal eating behaviours and a distorted body image.

Euphoria: A feeling of elation that is not based on reality and is commonly exaggerated.

Factitious disorders: Conditions in which physical and/or psychological symptoms are fabricated in order to place an individual in the role of a patient or sick person in need of help.

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD): A psychiatric condition in which the main symptoms are chronic worry and fear that seems to have no real cause. There may be many associated physical reactions, such as trembling, jitteriness, sweating, light headedness and irritability.

Hallucinations: A strong perception of an event or object when no such situation is present; may occur in any of the senses (i.e., visual, auditory, gustatory, olfactory or tactile).

Histrionic personality disorder:People with this disorder are overly conscious of their appearance, are constantly seeking attention, exaggerate emotions and often behave dramatically.

Hostility: The disposition to inflict harm on another person and/or the actual infliction of harm, either physically or emotionally.

Hyperventilation: Abnormally deep or rapid breathing, often seen when someone is anxious.

Hypomania: An episode of illness that resembles mania, but is less intense and less disabling. Hypomania is characterized by a euphoric mood, unrealistic optimism, increased speech and activity, and a decreased need for sleep.

Identity: Self-knowledge about one's characteristics or personality. A sense of self.

Illusions: A false perception; the mistaking of something for what is not.

Impulse-control disorders: Disorders characterized by the inability to inhibit impulses that might be harmful to oneself or others.

Insomnia: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep when one has the opportunity to be sleeping.

Interpersonal therapy: A form of psychotherapy that focuses on a patient's interpersonal relationships; it may be used to treat depression.

Kleptomania: A pathological compulsion or impulse to steal.

Learning disorder: When a child's academic ability is below what is expected for the child's age, schooling and level of intelligence. A learning difficulty is usually identified in reading, math or writing.

Lethargy: A feeling of tiredness, drowsiness or lack of energy.

Maintenance treatment: Treatment to prevent a new mood episode, such as depression, mania or hypomania.

Major depressive disorder (also known as clinical depression): A major mood disorder characterized by one or more (recurrent) episodes of major depression, with or without full recovery between episodes.

Mania: An episode usually seen in the course of bipolar disorder characterized by a marked increase in energy, extreme elation, impulsivity, irritability, rapid speech, nervousness, distractibility and/or poor judgment. During manic episodes, some people also experience hallucinations or delusions.

Manic depression (also known as bipolar disorder): Classified as a type of affective disorder (or mood disorder) that goes beyond the day's ordinary ups and downs. Manic depression is characterized by periodic episodes of extreme elation, elevated mood, or irritability (also called mania) countered by periodic, classic depressive symptoms.

Melancholy :Symptoms usually found in severe major depressive episodes, including loss of pleasure, lethargy, weight loss and insomnia.

Mood disorder (also known as affective disorder): A category of mental health problems including a disturbance in mood, usually profound sadness or apathy, euphoria or irritability, such as the disorder major depression.

Narcissistic personality disorder: People with this personality disorder have severely overly inflated feelings of self-worth, grandiosity and superiority over others.

Neurotransmitters :In the brain, these chemicals transfer messages from one nerve cell to another and affect mood.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD):An anxiety disorder in which a person has an unreasonable thought, fear or worry that he/she may try to manage through ritualized activity. Frequently occurring disturbing thoughts or images are called obsessions, and the rituals performed to try to prevent or dispel them are called compulsions. People with OCD often become uncomfortable in situations that are beyond their control and have difficulty maintaining positive, healthy interpersonal relationships as a result.

Panic disorder (also called panic attacks): An anxiety disorder characterized by chronic, repeated and unexpected intense periods of fear when there is no specific cause for the fear. In between panic attacks, people with panic disorder worry excessively about when and where the next attack may occur. Panic disorder may be accompanied by agoraphobia.

Paranoid personality disorder: People with this disorder are often cold, distant and unable to form close, interpersonal relationships. Often overly suspicious of their surroundings, people with paranoid personality disorder generally cannot see their role in conflict situations and often project their feelings of paranoia as anger onto others.

Phobia: An uncontrollable, irrational and persistent fear of a specific object, situation or activity.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) :A debilitating condition that is related to a past terrifying physical or emotional experience causing the person who survived the event to have persistent, frightening thoughts and memories or flashbacks, of the ordeal. People with PTSD often feel chronically emotionally numb.

Psychotherapy: The treatment of mental and emotional disorders using psychological methods, such as talk therapy.

Purging: People with bulimia engage in a destructive pattern of ridding their bodies of the excess calories (to control their weight) by vomiting, abusing laxatives or diuretics, taking enemas and/or exercising obsessively -- a process called purging.

Pyromania: A pathological compulsion to set fires.

Rage: A state of intense emotional experience associated with uncontrolled destructive behaviour.

Reaction formation: The converting of wishes or impulses that are perceived to be dangerous into opposite thoughts. This is considered a defence mechanism.

Regression: The reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable impulses. This is considered a defence mechanism.

Relapse :The recurrence of a disease after apparent recovery, or the return of symptoms after remission.

Remission :A return to the asymptomatic state, usually accompanied by a return to the usual level of functioning.

Repression :The blocking of unacceptable impulses from consciousness. This is considered a

defence mechanism.

Schizoid personality disorder: People with this disorder are often cold, distant, introverted and have an intense fear of intimacy and closeness. They are often so absorbed in their own thinking and daydreaming that they stay detached from others and reality.

Schizophrenia: A complex mental health disorder involving a severe, chronic and disabling disturbance of the brain. The symptoms may include hallucinations, delusions and disorganized thinking.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD): A mood disorder characterized by depression related to a certain season of the year -- especially winter.

Sedatives: A group of drugs used to produce sedation (calmness). Sedatives include sleeping pills and anti-anxiety drugs.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs):A commonly prescribed class of drugs for treating depression. SSRIs work by stopping the reuptake of serotonin, an action that allows more serotonin to be available to be taken up by other nerves.

The SSRI Paxil may increase the risk for birth defects, particularly heart defects, when women take it during the first three months of pregnancy, according to a 2005 advisory from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The FDA is waiting for the results of recent studies to better understand the higher risk. Discuss with your doctor about the health risks of Paxil if you plan to become pregnant or are in the first three months of pregnancy. You may want to consider taking a different antidepressant. Do not stop taking the drug without first talking to your doctor.

Self-esteem :Feelings about one's self.

Social phobia: An anxiety disorder in which a person has significant anxiety and discomfort related to a fear of being embarrassed, humiliated, or scorned by others in social or performance situations.

Somatization disorder: A chronic disorder characterized by multiple, often long-standing physical complaints such as aches and pains.

Specific phobia: A type of phobia characterized by extreme fear of an object or situation that is not harmful under normal conditions.

Sublimation: The channelling of unacceptable impulses into more acceptable outlets. This is considered a defence mechanism.

Suicidal behaviour: Actions taken by one who is considering or preparing to cause their own death.

Suicidal ideation: Thoughts of suicide or wanting to take one's life.

Suicide: The intentional taking of one's life.

Suicide attempt: An act focused on taking one's life that is unsuccessful in causing death.

Supportive therapy; Psychotherapy that focuses on the management and resolution of current difficulties and life decisions using the individual's strengths and available resources.

Symptom breakthrough: The return of symptoms in the course of either the continuation or maintenance phase treatment.

Tourette's syndrome :A tic disorder characterized by repeated involuntary movements and uncontrollable vocal sounds. This disorder usually begins during childhood or early adolescence.

Trichotillomania: Recurrent hair pulling resulting in significant hair loss with a motivation of self-gratification or tension release.

Tricyclic antidepressants: Drugs used in the treatment of clinical depression. Tricyclic refers to the presence of three rings in the chemical structure of these drugs.

Vegetative symptoms :A group of symptoms that refer to sleep, appetite and/or weight regulation.

Online & Phone Counseling: The Vivekanantha psychotherapy and counselling Center provides online counselling, as well as counselling over the telephone. There are certain circumstances where such therapy is appropriate, especially if the person seeking such therapy has limited access to transportation or therapists in their area.

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

http://homeoall.com/

Six keys to loving yourself

2009-09-05T05:58:00.000-07:00

Six keys to loving yourself

COMPASSION: Compassion is like a healing potion that goes directly to where you are hurting. Listen to your inner voice that is caring, healing, and ready to cheer & encourage you. IT IS THERE; it's just been stifled for so long you really have to listen for it.

ACCEPTANCE: No human is perfect, and that includes you. No matter what parts of yourself you may like to change, it is important to value yourself for who you are now--as a moving, changing, evolving being with very specific attributes and abilities.

RESPECT: Traditional roles are viewed as not difficult, demanding, or impressive. In the business world unequal access to the symbols of respect and the need to walk a thin line between being too passive and too assertive sets some people up to feel lesser than most others. Remember a time when somebody showed you respect when you feeling down on yourself. Remember the feeling that radiated through you when you took the comment in as truth. It's time to give that to yourself.

ENCOURAGEMENT: We all need encouragement to set goals and to believe that we can attain them. active, Often some people are very good at encouraging others who are struggling. Take those same skills inward while acknowledging the realistic barriers most people face, and the value of valiant effort.

SUPPORT: Have you ever felt so bad that you just wanted to stay in bed and hide from the world? You probably longed for someone to nurture you and give you courage to go on. We can be that kind of loving parent to ourselves by letting ourselves know that no matter what, we will still be in our own corner

STROKING: Have you ever petted a cat, gently stroking it all over as it purred in pleasure? Can you remember being stroked this way? A gentle massage? Being rocked in a nurturer's arms? Let yourself remember in your body. Even if we get little stroking from others, we can learn to give ourselves some. We can do it physically, emotionally, with words, with gifts. You deserve it. YOU DESERVE IT!

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

http://homeoall.com/

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

2009-09-05T05:56:00.001-07:00

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

The Boy could not stop washing his hands.......
The woman could not stop checking the lock.....
The man could no stop himself from praying to God again & again......

An 20-yr. old boy has to wash his hands 25-30 times in a day. Every time he touches any thing in the house like the table or the door he had to go & wash his hands. He always takes 25-30 minutes washing his hands because if he touches the tap while closing he will have to wash his hands again and so the vicious cycle continues. He takes one hour to take bath because touching the bucket means washing the hands again. It has continued for the last 3 years and 10 hours out of the 24 hours go in completing each of these steps of washing.

He is suffering from an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD.

How common is OCD?
Out of every 10 patients coming to the psychiatrist, one patient is suffering from this illness.

But why can't these people simply stop it?
That is the PROBLEM. They are not mad people. They realize that it is Irrational /Inappropriate but it is a recurrent thought / impulse which is not in the control of the person (patient) and is called Obsessive thought. They try to stop or ignore it but cannot do it.

The thought is followed by some rituals /acts which are called Compulsion. A combination of obsessive thoughts followed by compulsive actions is known as an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Oh yes! I know somebody my office. We always feel the he's obsessed with cleanliness. His table, his dresses are always spotless. Is he suffering from an Obsessive Compulsive disorder?

Obsessive Compulsive disorder is a disease, an illness. Your friend in the office is a habitually clean person (it’s his habit) or may be a perfectionist. He's not suffering from a disease .In OCD the person is intensely distressed by the recurrent thought, which does not allow him to do his routine activities.

What are the other presentations of this disease?
Other presentations are:

Pathological doubt which leads to repeated thoughts of hurting someone followed by rituals of crying or counting etc.
Reflected sexual thoughts and imaginations followed buy rituals of praying etc.
Excessive praying on religious concern out of keeping with the person's background.
Excessive concern about symmetry & precision.
Hoarding & collecting.
Rituals that few things have to be done in a specific order

Does this disorder come in childhood, or at any age?
The OCD usually presents at the age of 20-30 yr. If it presents in older age (in 4th decade) it usually comes after a stressful situation in life. The person has some problem in life e.g. death of some dear one, problem in marriage etc. In such cases DEPRESSION may be the main illness, which presents in the manner.

What is the cause of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?
It's a multi factorial illness that is to say that a variety of factors and their combination is responsible.

Important contribution is of certain brain chemicals. Their decreased presence is considered to be a factor. One such chemical is Serotonin.
Inheritance is another importance contributing factor. Sometimes some close relative in family suffers from this illness.
Personality of the person might be very perfectionist.
Upbringing from childhood can have an important role.

Is OCD treatable?
Yes, Very much.

How?

The most important thing is to believe that it is an illness like any other illness (like Pneumonia or Typhoid).
The person is sick & he /she is not doing it deliberately to harass others.
It requires active intervention by a specialist doctor (a psychiatrist).
There are medicines available, which are very effective.
There are other methods like Psychotherapy and Behaviour therapy.

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

http://homeoall.com/

Mental well-being checklist

2009-09-05T05:50:00.000-07:00

Mental well-being checklist

Well-being is not just an absence of symptoms of disease. It's a deep-seated inner feeling of happiness, joy, satisfaction and peace. Just as achieving a toned body takes effort, attaining this level of inner balance too takes hard work and commitment. Yet it's crucial that we make that effort, because our state of mind not only colours our enjoyment of life but also directly affects our physical well-being.

Mental well-being checklist

Learn to manage your life:
Take time to analyse your goals. Look closely at what you're doing and how to use your time optimally. Prioritise your tasks so that you don't get overwhelmed. Don't take on new menial jobs that eat into your time and don't advance yourself in any way.

Nurture healthy relationships...
Few of us will be lucky enough to fall in love, marry, have a happy family, run on the beach with two golden retrievers and never ever have a moment's strife. But a support system of some kind is essential, whether it's an informal network of friends or the more focused environment found in a support group.

Lonely people lose their self esteem and become demoralised, and can end up cutting themselves off from the world. An active social life helps to a lower risk of illness.

A healthy body:
It's one of those things we hate knowing but must admit: we feel better when we're exercising regularly and eating fairly healthy food.

Make time to relax:
Join an art therapy class or swing idly in a hammock and watch the birds chirp, but take time off from responsibilities to just be yourself.

Common disorders
here are some of the most common mental disorders and how to recognise them:

Anxiety disorders.
General or specific worries intrude on the sufferer's ability to lead a normal life. Social situations and stress can trigger an attack.

Psychotherapy and medication can help in recovery.

Anorexia/bulimia/compulsive eating.

Sufferers have a distorted body image and an abnormal relationship with food, either avoiding it or overindulging.

Such cases are hard to cure, but with psychotherapy one can learn to control.

Depression:
Unlike an unhappy mood, it usually gets progressively worse. It’s characterised by a lack of enjoyment of former pleasures and an absence of energy and enthusiasm. Depression responds to medication and psychotherapy.

Bipolar disorder:
This disorder is characterised by a depressive phase followed by a 'manic' episode, where the sufferer may be unnaturally energetic and unrealistically positive. It's treated in a similar way to depression. Substance dependence: Sufferers have difficulty controlling their use of alcohol or drugs, which can lead to neglect of other interests and duties. They can recover with the help of psychotherapy.

Schizophrenia:
Delusions, hallucinations and incongruous emotional responses are among the major symptoms. Medication can control the illness.

Attention deficit disorder:
While some sufferers grow out of this problem in their teens, others struggle with a short attention span and an inability to concentrate throughout their adult lives. Medication can help and so can learn techniques that will help them to cope.

If you have any doubt regarding how to build mental health

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

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Meditation transforms you

2009-09-05T05:41:00.000-07:00

Meditation transforms you

“What is the right place to meditate?”

It is a very significant question. If we find a particular place where we feel good and it offers a good ambience, then that’s the place. We should meditate daily in that particular place. By our daily meditation the place acquires a certain character, an energy-field, which becomes conducive to meditation.

The place then welcomes you the moment you return there to meditate.

What is meditation all about?

Our whole existence is about life. Trees and earth and sky are all life. When we meditate at a certain place, the place becomes more alive by our regular meditation. It contains our energy - the energy of meditation - and inherits the vibrations from our calmness and silence. And each time we meditate there, the preserved energy becomes available to us.

“Say Sorry to the door”

It happened once that a man came to see a Zen master. The man was not very sensitive. When he entered the meditation room of the master, he closed the door loudly with a bang. The Zen master told the man,” First go back to the door and ask for forgiveness. You have been very insensitive with the door.” The man understood the point and went back to the door to ask for forgiveness.

The Zen master gave him a very important lesson of meditation: Treat everything with sensitivity - even those objects which do not look alive. There is life everywhere. Before you enter into the field of meditation, become alert and aware. Bring the quality of sensitivity with you. Meditation is going to make you more sensitive and intuitive.

How meditation benefits you?

You will become more alive - abundant with a sense of life you never knew before. You will feel friendly towards all.

There will be no hostility. You will carry that aura of friendliness and calm that meditation brings everywhere with you. This will touch others too, but most importantly, it will enhance the place where you meditate. The temples too breathe with such life. Just by bowing your head mechanically at a place of worship, you cannot make it into a temple. Only if someone meditates at some place sincerely, does that place become a real temple.

Gautama the Buddha meditated under a Bodhi tree and one day there was the advent of enlightenment. The blessed Bodhi tree was a witness to this ultimate explosion and imbibed the vibrations. The tree remains alive even today. It has become a unique temple and a symbol of inspiration to thousands of seekers. Such is the magic of meditation.

to know more about meditation

don’t hesitate to contact us

If you have any doubt regarding Meditation

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Mania Mania

2009-09-05T05:37:00.000-07:00

Mania is a severe medical condition characterized by extremely elevated mood, energy, and unusual thought patterns. There are several possible causes for mania, but it is most often associated with bipolar disorder, where episodes of mania may cyclically alternate with episodes of clinical depression. Though the elevated mood and energy level typical of mania could be seen as a benefit, mania generally has many undesirable consequences and has the potential to be very destructive.

Classic symptoms include

Rapid speech,

Racing thoughts,

Decreased need for sleep,

Hyper sexuality,

Euphoria (watery eyes)

Grandiosity,

Increased interest in goal-directed activities.

Mild forms of mania, known as hypomania, cause little or no impairment; infect, most with bipolar disorder never experience full blown mania and stay hypo manic. However, more severe forms of mania do cause impairment and may even feature grandiose delusions or hallucinations. In the most extreme cases, manic patients may need to be hospitalized to protect themselves and others. Mania and hypomania have also been associated with creativity and artistic talent.

Symptoms

Although "severely elevated mood" sounds somewhat desirable and enjoyable, the experience of mania is often quite unpleasant and sometimes disturbing, if not frightening, for the person involved (and those close to them), and may lead to impulsive behaviour that may later be regretted. It can also often be complicated by the sufferer's lack of judgment and insight regarding periods of exacerbation of symptoms. Manic patients are frequently grandiose, irritable, belligerent, and frequently deny anything is wrong with them. Because mania frequently encourages high energy and decreased perception of need or ability to sleep, within a few days of a manic cycle, sleep-deprived psychosis may appear, further complicating the ability to think clearly. Racing thoughts and misperceptions lead to frustration and decreased ability to communicate with others.

In addition to

Decreased desire for sleep,

Other manic symptoms include

Irritability,

Anger or rage,

Delusions,

Hypersensitivity,

Hyper sexuality,

Hyper-religiosity,

Hyperactivity,

Racing thoughts,

Talkativeness or rapid speech,

Grandiose ideas and plans.

In manic and less severe, hypo manic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out of character behaviour such as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky sexual activity or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviours. These behaviours increase stress in personal relationships, problems at work and increases the risk of altercations with law enforcement as well as being at high risk of impulsively taking part in activities potentially harmful to self and others.

A mnemonic used to remember the symptoms of mania is DIGFAST:

D = Distractibility
I = Indiscretion
G = Grandiosity
F = Flight of ideas
A = Activity increased
S = Sleep (decreased need for)
T = Talkativeness (pressured speech)

Mixed states

Mania can be experienced at the same time as depression, in a mixed state. Dysphonic mania is primarily manic and agitated depression is primarily depressed. This has caused speculation amongst doctors that mania and depression are two independent axes in a bipolar spectrum, rather than opposites.

There is an increased probability of suicide in the mixed state, as depressed individuals who are also manic have the energy needed to commit suicide.

If you have any doubt regarding Mania

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

http://homeoall.com/

Dyslexia in Children

2009-09-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

Dyslexia in Children

Categorized as a learning disability, dyslexia can be diagnosed in people of all levels of intelligence. It basically manifests itself in the form of a difficulty with written language, visible more prominently while reading. A neurological difference, it arises from differences in the processing of written and spoken language, by the brain of a person. While the causes of dyslexia have not been deciphered till date, the problem is not entirely incurable. It has nothing to do with the intellectual ability of the affected person and some extra time, attention and patience can go a long way in helping him/her overcome the problem. Let us know more about dyslexia in children.

Symptoms for Identifying Dyslexia in Kids

A short attention span
Difficulty in learning spellings
Writing letters or numbers backwards
Finding it hard to follow multiple (say 2- or 3-step) instructions
Confusing left with right and vice-versa
Encountering problems in organizing himself/herself
Confusing similar-sounding words, like rat and cat
Little interest in words and letters
Mixing up directional words, like 'up' and 'down'
Finding it hard to put objects into a sequence
Jumbling up letters or whole words, such as saying 'felt' for 'left'
Encountering difficulties in Math
Persistent difficulties with reading
Inability to do even simple calculations in head, say as 2+2=4
Problems in dressing up or tying shoes
Confusing places, times and dates
Reading with poor comprehension
Poor and/or slow handwriting
Spelling words just as they sound
Constantly losing place while reading, say going from 2nd to 4th line
Reversal in reading or writing words, like writing 'b' for 'd'

If you have any doubt regarding Dyslexia

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

http://homeoall.com/

Healthy and Un-Healthy Shame

2009-09-05T05:23:00.000-07:00

Healthy and un-healthy shame

Challenge yourself: which methods of coping with shame have you used?

Deep, unhealthy shame is the internal feeling that we are "dirty", flawed as a person, or not good enough. In some people it can result in low self-esteem. People living with underlying shame may believe these feelings are normal, and may think other people feel the same way. While these feelings may be quite common, they are not the norm, and can impede fulfilling our happiness.

Like other human emotions we may perceive as "all bad", there certainly is a positive aspect of shame. In a positive setting, shame is the feeling message that let’s us know we aren’t acting within our morals and values.

There are so many non-helpful messages we pick up throughout our lives that can become internal, automatic messages. We can unconsciously (unknowingly) repeat these messages in our mind over and over again. We usually pick up, or formulate these non-helpful messages when we’re forming our self-image (how we see ourselves and how we believe others see us). The consequence of feeling this kind of shame is devastating and always painful.

Non-helpful shame may sound like:

"I’m a failure"
"Nobody could possibly love me"
"I’m not a good mother/father"
"I can’t relate to other people"

Winning is not everything,
but wanting to win is.

- Vince Lombardi

Some non-helpful ways of coping with shame may include:
(Coping is the maintenance of emotional well being)

Self Abuse: self abuse either through your thoughts or with your body.

Chronic Victimization: difficulties setting limitations with other people, and don’t believe they have the right to say "No". Not taking care of their own needs, often not recognizing they have needs. Difficulty taking responsibility for their own life and the consequences of their behaviour; usually blaming others for what is happening in their life (society, parents, boss).

Abuse of Others: taking out unresolved hurt and anger on others who are more helpless (like kicking a pet or yelling at a younger sibling).

Depression: being weighed down by feelings (hopelessness, powerlessness, and overwhelmed).

Rage: unleashing rage is a way to keep other people away. "People can’t see my inner self if I keep them away." Unable to feel in control of your life: anger is a way of maintaining control through intimidating others.

Control: to control feels powerful. When a person has power they feel less vulnerable to being shamed again. It involves controlling their feelings, thoughts, and actions as well as manipulating others.

Perfectionism: Being taught to have unrealistic expectations, fear of being abandoned if we’re not good, right, and perfect, constantly push to do our best.

Addictions and other Compulsions: shame is at the heart of all addictions/compulsions. Shame sets a person up for psychological dependency which can lead to physical dependency.

· Compulsive relationships – look for others to fill us up.

· Enmeshed relationships – primary goal is passions and excitement.

· Apathetic relationships – primary goal is avoiding vulnerability and pain. Each person walks down a parallel track with physical, emotional and sometimes social distance between them.

Suicide/attempts: the ultimate act of shame. I am hopeless, unworthy and don’t deserve or want to live.

If you have any doubt regarding problems of Shame

Please contact

Cell: 09786901830

Mail: consult.ur.dr@gmail.com

http://homeoall.com/

Drug Abuse –Please do not use these Drugs, These are very “Harmful to health”

2009-09-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

Drug Abuse –Please do not use these Drugs, These are very

“Harmful to health”

Alcohol

He most widely used and abused drug of all. Approximately 100 million n the US use it, and 10 million abuse it. Pharmacologically, alcohol is in the sedative-hypnotic class of drugs, but because of its vast usage it is set apart from them.

Observable Effects

Smell of alcohol, slurred speech, in coordination, disturbed judgement, shifts in personality and mood. The most common minor withdrawal symptom observed in alcohol addicts is tremor in the hands

"Street info"

Very addictive. Rare to overdose because the person usually passes out first unless they drink too fast (down a whole bottle). However, a common overdosing combination does occur when used with other drugs-(i.e. downers, narcotics, etc) it POTENTIATES the effects of both drugs, meaning the experience is more than double-it can triple, quadruple or more when used in combination; and can become extremely dangerous. Alcohol is commonly dangerous when used to control a stimulant high, or to help sleep when taking stimulants.

Inhalants

Solvents: glues, paints, aerosol, kerosene. By inhaling fumes, a short 'giggly' high. Inhalants destroy the body faster than ANY other drug. The effects are systemic, causing body-wide destruction. Never a physical addiction, since chronic use results in death or serious injury.

Amyl/Butyl nitrate: Used to treat angina; it is a very potent, fast dilator. It gives a quick rush of blood to the head. Amyl nitrate is only available by prescription, but butyl nitrate is sold in head shops as "rush" or "locker room" deodorizer. It's rare to have chronic use of this. It carries a risk of glaucoma.

Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas): Mild relaxant anaesthetic. Whipped cream propellant. Known as whippets. Gives a silly, giggly high, and causes people to do very stupid things when high. It has a very cold temperature. Injury is usually caused by users forgetting to take an inhalation mask off which causes brain death.

Sedative-hypnotics

Barbiturates (Nembutal, Seconal, and Phenobarbital) are similar to alcohol in their action and effect: they are central nervous system depressants that induce drowsiness and sleep and sometimes euphoria. Barbiturates have a high potential for both psychological and physical dependence, leading to withdrawal symptoms, including nausea, weakness, anxiety, and tremors. Used together, alcohol and barbiturates act synergistically: they multiply in power and effect on the body and have greater effect than if used separately. The combination can cause death.

Benzodiazepines (Valium, Librium) and other tranquilizers are also capable of producing tolerance and dependence but to a lesser extent than barbiturates. Used mainly to relieve anxiety, Benzodiazepines are also helpful as muscle relaxants and sleep promoters.

Observable Effects

Impaired judgement, in coordination and unsteady gait, personality and mood shifts, irritability, loquacity, and slurred speech.

Narcotics

The natural members of the opiate family are opium, morphine, heroin, and codeine. They are derived from the unripe see pod of the opium poppy. Synthetic narcotics work like the natural opiates and include meperidine (Demerol) and methadone. All narcotics are central nervous system depressants that provide an analgesic (pain relieving effect). All have considerable potential for psychological and physical dependency.

Observable Effects

Pinpoint pupils, euphoria or dysphoria, apathy, needle marks, unsteady gait, slowing of mind and body, impaired attention and memory, passivity while under the influence.

Amphetamines

The amphetamines are a group of synthetic drugs including dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine), methamphetamine (Methedrine), and amphetamine (Benzedrine). These drugs are stimulants to the central nervous system and are useful medically in the treatment of obesity, Parkinsonism, narcolepsy, fatigue, and depression. Intoxication with amphetamines can result in violent behaviour, delusions, and hallucinations.

Observable Effects

Agitation and exhilaration, increased energy and alleviation of fatigue, decreased appetite, anxiety, volatile emotions, loquacity, paranoia, perspiration or chills, possibly dilated pupils.

Cocaine

Similar to synthetic amphetamines, cocaine is a stimulant derived from the coca leaf of South America. It is usually sniffed, snorted, smoked, or injected, and tolerance and dependence develop rapidly. The most potent anti-fatigue agent known, cocaine cancels hunger while giving the feeling of great physical strength and increased mental ability. Users greatly overestimate their abilities, make poor judgments, and may get into fights.

Observable Effects

Low doses may produce agitation, rapid speech, grandiosity, paranoia, loquacity, and quick mood swings. With high doses, the user slurs speech, is sleepy, and has droopy eyelids. Pupils may dilate. Needle marks are possible.

Hallucinogens

The hallucinogens include lysergic acid diethyl amine (LSD), dimethyltryptamine (DMT), and catecholamine (mescaline). Perceptual changes are the most common characteristic, including hallucinations, usually visual, and intensification of perceptions.

Observable Effects

Dilated pupils, blurred vision, tremors, poor coordination, paranoia, poor judgement.

Phencyclidine-(PCP)

Depending on dosage, PCP may have the effect of a stimulant, analgesic, anaesthetic, or hallucinogen. Since the buyer on the street cannot know the strength or purity of his purchase there is particular danger in PCP use. Whereas mild doses can produce a pleasant experience from some, higher doses can result in hallucination, psychosis, or death.

Observable Effects

Euphoria, agitation, anxiety, grandiosity, disturbed judgment, impulsiveness, combative or bizarre behaviour.

Marijuana

The most widely used illicit drug, marijuana is usually smoked but may also be mixed in food. Because it is stored in the body's fat cells, marijuana can remain in the body for months.

Observable Effects

Vary with dosage and person and may include euphoria, intensified perceptions. Apathy, nausea, anxiety, paranoia and disorientation. A person under the influence should not drive or use machinery.

Tobacco

This legal drug is responsible for more than 300,000 deaths per year from cancer and coronary and respiratory disorders. Tobacco's most potent ingredient, nicotine, is an extremely toxic substance that has value as an insecticide.

Observable Effects

Sometimes stimulant, tranquilizer, or depressant, depending on the person, mood, and situation. Nicotine stained fingers can be a correlate of alcoholism.

Defence Mechanisms

2009-09-04T23:52:00.000-07:00

Defence Mechanisms

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. -

Alexander Graham Bell

Defence mechanisms are used by all human beings and may be necessary for survival in some situations.

We’ve all used defences to distance ourselves from distressing feelings and maintain a sense of emotional stability. Our defence patterns began in childhood when they prevented us from becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. However, as an adult we outgrow their usefulness. If we continue to use outgrown defences we are more likely to create rigid constrained relationships and risk never truly encountering another human being.

Part of therapy is identifying our defences. If we can discover which defences we use, we can replace outgrown ones with more healthy ones. Defences are not conscious excuses to avoid problems. Actually, we are usually unaware we are using them.

Counselling can be helpful in uncovering our most used defences, and help us learn new ways of defending and coping in life.-helpful

Top of Form

Rationalization: providing "explanations" to excuse inconsistent or irrational behaviour, and not being aware that this is happening.

Minimizing: protecting you from worry or anxiety by viewing significant events or problem behaviours as being less important (smaller) than they actually are.

Externalization: believing outside forces or circumstances are the cause of your self-destructive behaviours. This defence mechanism allows you to avoid accepting responsibility for behaviour.

Intellectualization: using lengthy argument or small detail (deflecting behaviour) to distract from the task at hand.

Projection: attributing your own undesirable traits or thoughts onto another person.

Displacement: redirecting emotions such as anger form the source of frustration, and discharging them onto other persons, objects, or ideas.

Undoing: engaging in behaviour designed to symbolically make amends for or negate previously unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or actions. This is not to be confused with actual and direct amends made to persons we may have harmed.

Regression: returning to a less mature level of behaviour.

Fantasy: escaping from an unpleasant or undesirable situation through daydreaming, "tuning out", or not paying attention.

Acting-out: acting without reflection or apparent regard for negative consequences.

Passive aggression: indirectly and unassertively expressing aggression toward others.

Culture

2009-09-04T23:27:00.001-07:00

What is a culture?

Different cultures have different patterns of behaviour/ways and norms of living. In the US, what we generally mean by different cultures are foreign cultures and sub-cultures within our larger US community. An example of a foreign culture might be a person coming from China to the United States. A Chinese person has patterns of behaviour that are normal and healthy in his or her home community. However, certain aspects of their behaviours may be perceived by US citizens as not healthy (not within the US "norm" of behaviour). A good example is the distance Europeans stand from others when talking. Europeans stand approximately 1/2 the distance from another person when talking as opposed to Americans, which may make an American feel very uncomfortable.

Misunderstandings also happen between sub-cultures in our own country. Such as between white and black Americans, or between a small US Italian community and a Jewish Community. Each sub-culture has new or different sets of behaviour or ways of living that may at times be perceived as wrong. This is where the term Cultural Issues comes from. Issues arise when groups of people believe another group is wrong in their behaviour; we’re not aware of what healthy behaviour is for that culture.

What are the main characteristics of American culture?

After many years of changes, the main characteristics of Americans remain: women are supposed to be supporting and not too loud; males are supposed to be independent and exhibit strong identification with their masculinity. We have a lot of confusion about what families are supposed to be like especially because we have a lot of extended families due to divorce and re-marriage. All Americans are to be able communicators and not too affectionate. We have a need for personal physical space; we are taught not to be too close to one another.

Why do we use stereotypes?

We use stereotypes in part because it’s so hard to take in all of the complicated information about other people in the world. It’s difficult to spend the amount of time necessary to understand why or in what different ways people behave. So instead, we learn early in our lives to accept stereotypes of groups, or individuals. We develop stereotypes not just for large cultures, but smaller ones; such as police officers, Mexican Americans, women, or executive males.

How do stereotypes affect the way we think and feel?

Stereotypes eliminate the challenges of understanding people who are different from ourselves; they supposedly give us a general overview of whole groups of people so we know what to expect and how to act. Unfortunately, so many stereotypes are inaccurate and are used as a method of scapegoating, or to separate "their" behaviour from "my" behaviour. Remember, we don’t always agree with, or like the way another cultures behave because it is different, and we therefore perceive it as wrong, and develop negative/ugly descriptions (stereotypes). When we have problems with someone of a different group, we tend to identify the problem as having to do with the group, rather than ourselves or the specific person. So stereotypes do get in the way of how we think and feel. It makes us very judgmental about others and unfortunately often erroneously so. Stereotypes prevent us from identifying the feelings that are really go on inside of us. With stereotypes, the belief will remain that someone did something to us, rather than the problem, fear, or rigidity/closed thinking being within ourselves. When we’re stereotyping we get caught up in the issue of that’s what "they do", that’s how "those people" are, instead of being in touch with our actual feelings of hurt, confusion, being slighted, left-out, anger, etc.

How do cultural issues affect society? People? What role do they play?

The US is considered one of the more dynamic societies in the world. What’s meant by this is there is constantly new influx of immigrants into our culture. Approximately 10% of the population was not born here. So in the US those new immigrants bring their cultural backgrounds into the interaction in the culture. We welcome and pick up on many things in new cultures such as diet, art, music, patterns of behaviour, language idiom, etc. While there is a welcoming of differences such as food and music, there is also a stress between new cultural influences and the predominant cultural influences. When people don’t understand each other, they become suspicious of one another.

People from new and different cultural groups are heavily discriminated against and negatively stereotyped because of their differences from the main culture. We have seen this in the discrimination of groups throughout our history, most notable with African Americans, Native Americans, Irish, Italians, and Jews. There is a story of a child living in a racist environment who’d learned a lot of negative stereotypes about African Americans. He had an aunt in Minnesota who used to write letters to his mother. One day, his mother was reading to him from one of those letters. His aunt wrote about "how those people are so lazy and are good for nothing" and "they don’t do anything" and "we shouldn’t try to support them or helping them in any way". The white boy assumed his aunt was talking about African Americans, because in his environment, that’s what he had heard, but when his mother turned the page, it was actually Native Americans his aunt was writing of. We attach negative stereotypes to people we don’t want to identify with. Stereotypes make it even more difficult to challenge and approach the different people around us; but more and more people are beginning to challenge stereotypes.

Wouldn’t we feel more comfortable if we were all the same?

It’s doubtful. We don’t know that there’s ever been a situation in which all people were the same. People are individuals and we are all unique even within cultural bounds. It’s just a fact of life that different cultures have developed. So people are different from each other. And yes, if we are different enough, people can be fearful of the differences. It takes more work to get to know people who are different from us.

What can we learn from other cultures?

There is so much to learn everywhere in the universe, there’s no single culture that seems to have had a corner on all the best ways to be in the world, whether that’s spiritual, dietary, the way we work or organize our societies. It’s not well known, but the early US revolutionary leaders modelled their ideas of government after certain Native American nations. In spite of having an overall disrespect for Native Americans, early US intellectual leaders used Native American ideas to plan democracy.

How many cultures are there?

Thousands. Within any given nation there are many sub-cultures, and within many nations there are even completely independent cultures. There are a few hundred nation states in the world, multiply that by at least 10. Some people even believe every family has its own culture; after all, have you ever known two families that are alike in their roles and customs?

Mary Pipher said that in America we live in a dysfunctional and poisonous culture. What does she mean? How do we grow up in a consumer-oriented, highly sexualized culture?

Probably every vice was once a virtue. Man’s sins may be the relics of his rise, rather than the stigmata of his fall.

Will and Ariel Durant, 1968, the Lessons of History

It’s not just Mary Pipher who believes we live in a dysfunctional and poisonous culture; many people who have studied our culture say it is a very sick and addicted culture. It’s dysfunctional because it teaches negative things about human beings. Our culture reinforces poor diet, myths about our superiority and rights over the earth, sexism (rampant in most cultures in the world), consumerism, all of which push people to develop an addictive pattern of consuming (otherwise known as affluenza). In the US, people are encouraged and directed that the way to feel good is to have rather than to just be. Yes, the US is a highly sexualized culture, because sex sells. There is a sexualizing of things all over the culture. Almost everything is pitched as a feel good, be better, get more sex item. For example, an advertisement for Florida vacations might contain words such as "miles and miles of beautiful beach", all the while focusing the camera on women’s breasts and backsides. Does this foster dysfunction? Does this lead to a track of personal happiness and health? Or does this kind of thinking and advertising foster more consumerism and less of what really makes us happy? Those who teach about affluenza would say it’s important for all of us to be aware, and therefore become "inoculated" to such potential destructive forces around us.

What role does mass media play in our culture? (Television in particular)

There are ongoing studies on how mass media affects humans in the culture. Some people argue it doesn’t affect us very much. This argument says what’s much more important is immediate family behaviours; that’s how children will be shaped. But we know mass media does make a big difference and we can see the affects in such studies as done with the gradual disappearance of accents. A person travelling through the US 25 years ago, if they turned on a television set in Savannah Georgia, would have heard a tremendous variation in pronunciation and word usage from say, what the news was like in the state of Indiana. Today news and media is very interchangeable. So one apparent example of media interacting with our culture can be seen in the disappearing language differences. Word usage and pronunciation is becoming more homogenized through the transfer and learning that takes place in the mass media.

Its becoming harder and harder to deny that violence on TV doesn’t affect children. The typical child watches far more hours of TV by the time they are 18 than time they spend in school. What do they see during that time? They see tens of thousands of violent acts perpetrated either by cartoons, heroes in action series, bad-guys on action movies, over and over again.

The Native American has been damaged by mass media. The American mythology of cowboys, and the process of moving across the west. The cowboys moved across the west glamorously riding horses, a strong sense of freedom, and conquering the land. In reality, the cowboys moved west by moving the Indians out. There are all kinds of misconceptions about cultures created by Hollywood.

The media continually normalizes violence, reinforces racism, and creates myths of who we are as Americans. Advertisement and movies are constantly reinforcing women as sex objects, and rarely as heroes except to throw a twist in a movie or story. The media really reinforces our notions of cultural stereotypes.

How does language affect relationships?

Different people and different cultures use different words. Men and women also use words differently; even when trying to say similar things. Jay Leno on the Tonight Show recently joked that a study showed men and women interrupt conversations about the same amount, except women do so to add support and understanding while men do so to add their own story. How much of that statement is true?

Language differences exist within each culture as well as across cultural boundaries. There is a real problem in how we communicate. It’s important to always keep a mental note of that, and to make an effort to help others understand us better, and to ask others for clarification when we’re listening and understanding their language.

How do cultural issues come in to play in a counselling session?

It’s been very popular lately for counsellors to get multicultural training or cultural sensitivity training. Some of this training may not be as effective because people often take in information and forget it. There’s so much information about different cultures, and every person is different, it can’t be taught or learned effectively. In general, say, if you’re African American coming to see a white counsellor, it’s important to see if they acknowledge the difference; they are white, and there will be limits to their experience. They will need to ask questions. That’s what you want to look for in a counsellor; one who knows the limits of their experience in relation to cultural differences. Whether you’re Russian, Jewish, or Chinese, it’s crucial that the counsellor demonstrates sensitivity to your cultural needs, and acknowledges differences in their experience and yours.

How do different cultures resolve their issues together?

There’s no easy answer to this question. Most of the time if one culture doesn’t have the power to dominate another, natural processes work in bringing these cultures together. A good example would be Quebec in Canada. The French culture and the British Culture have struggled a great deal through the years. For now, they have worked out ways to compliment each other while maintaining boundaries.

What’s a healthy view of cultural differences?

It’s actually just an extension of a healthy view of human differences. We are very different as individuals.

However, there are issues that create tension between cultures. For example, the oppression of women in the US, versus women in Saudi Arabia or Kuwait. Despite the fact the US has been, and still is very oppressive to women (through restricting their roles, sexual advertising, referring to women as "girls"), we have disagreement about the "amount" of oppression we’re willing to let another culture put on women. In Saudi Arabia and Kuwait, women were just recently given the right to drive cars, and they are still held to strict behaviour guidelines. How much do societies that are a little more progressive, (like the US), react to countries/cultures that treat women with even less respect? Where do we draw the line between difference in culture (none of our business), and our humanity and compassion for people who are oppressed? It’s an ongoing balance to decide how we’re going to view the cultural differences. There isn’t a simple answer. Generally, the idea is that different does not mean wrong. We can learn from others (like Saudi Arabia and Kuwait), and continue to grow as individuals, and as a culture.

Are black people that different from white people?

The black female is assaulted in her tender years by all those common forces of nature at the same time that she is caught in the tripartite crossfire of masculine prejudice, white illogical hate, and black lack of power. The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, disdain, and even belligerence. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance

- Maya Angelo,

I know why the Caged Bird Sings:1986

Human beings are each unique and different and yet very much the same in many ways. Every cultural experience adds to the diversity of individuals. Including the African American sub-culture in the United States, who have a legacy of being discriminated against by a dominant white culture? Whether we’re talking about African race, Caucasian or Asian, in all cases there are differences simply because of race, but there are more individual differences due to personal development than there is from cultural differences.

Where does Black Culture come from?

There is an overall trend in the US to value the blending of cultures (erasing unique cultural backgrounds). The white culture has for years attempted to insulate the remnants of African Cultures. African Americans were taken from many cultures, and then their cultural preferences were sublimated as the white slave-holders wanted them to. Parts of the many African Cultures were passed down, but were done so secretly. For instance: marriage ceremonies. In some slave environments, certain aspects of marriage ceremonies from African cultures were able to be retained, however secretly. Slave owners did their best to strip all cultural aspects from African Slaves to sublimate/control them by taking away their cultural identity and freedom. Combine the stripping of cultural identity with the many different African cultures that existed even on one plantation. On some plantations there may have been even 15 different African cultures, all trying to live together. This made it even more difficult to pass on the specifics of one’s culture.

Despite the cultural stripping, many African Americans have created a new culture instead of swallowing the Euro-American culture of the US. But Black American culture is so diverse, that it’s hard to call it one culture. There are so many pieces and vast individual differences.

Is culture the same as race?

Absolutely not. We have literally hundreds of cultures in the world, while we have only a handful of races. There may be more things similar between cultural groups of the same race than across cultures of different races, but not much more. Cultural differences are more about human development, and not so much about skin colour.

What is counselling?

2009-09-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

Counselling and You: What's it all about?

What is counselling?

Simply stated, counselling is any relationship in which one person is helping another person to better understand and solve some problem. Friends and relatives provide a type of counselling, as do clergy, academic advisors, teachers, and many others. Counsellors have a broad range of experience in developing "helping relationships" and working with many different situations.

In counselling we look for what we find good in ourselves. The good can be used as a model for the things we would like to change.

Counselling is a change (growth: healing) process in which people (individuals, groups, couples, and families) are helped to:

express themselves (catharsis) in a safe, supportive, collaborative, non-judgmental climate;
identify, sort-out, clarify their problem laden "stories" (deepened awareness of past & present story and alternative future stories)
identify non-helpful patterns (e.g. "crisis" pattern);
learn, where appropriate, more helpful coping skills (e.g. "assertive skills")
Identify and achieve goals that are important to them.

For those with a humanistic bent, the ultimate goal for counselling is to help people to recognize and accept their own internal worth, i.e., to integrate their learned habits of thinking about themselves (their internal messages and images) and their learned behaviours (feelings, physical responses, & actions) to be congruent with who they really are in their essence (beautiful, loving people).

- David Santoro, PhD, Psychologist, Cleveland, Ohio.

What you can expect from your counsellor

You can expect someone who is interested in listening to your concerns and in helping you develop a better understanding of them so that you may deal with them more easily and effectively. Your counsellor will take you seriously and be willing to openly discuss anything you wish to discuss. Expect your counsellor to focus the session on you, and not on others. Because counsellors have different beliefs about how people change, they differ on how much talking they do in sessions, whether they ask you to do "homework," and their focus of discussion. If you have any questions about what is going on, by all means ask. Counsellors have no "magical" skills or knowledge, and will be unable to solve your problems directly for you. Your counsellor will want to work with you, but won't do for you what you are capable of doing for yourself. Except under unusual circumstances, your counsellor will maintain strict confidentiality about you, and will openly discuss this with you.

Your responsibilities in counselling

Your main responsibilities in counselling are to attend your regularly scheduled sessions, talk about what is bothering you as openly and honestly as you can, and complete any tasks or "homework" assignments you may be asked to do. You are expected to let your counsellor know if you are unable to make it to a session. Most counselling will require you to try something new or a "different approach." Another thing your counsellor will expect is for you to be willing to experiment and try things without jumping to conclusions. You are also expected to let your counsellor know when your problems have been solved as well as let your counsellor know if you don't feel like you're making any progress. This latter point is most important: your counsellor is most interested in your benefiting from counselling.

Common difficulties in counselling.

One of the most difficult steps in counselling occurs before you even see a counsellor for the first time. Deciding to seek counselling is the first step in change. Once this decision has been made, the mechanics for change have been set in motion. In the process of changing the way you think, feel, or behave, you usually must try out new ways of doing things. This can make you anxious or frustrated. Also, in the course of counselling you may come to realize that things you once thought of only in a positive or negative way you may see a bit differently. The challenges of pushing on your limitations may also cause your frustrations, but with commitment and practice, you will find that you can stretch your limits and find new and exciting aspects of your self.

Tips on how to benefit from counselling:

Be ready to focus on a specific problem or issue. Be prepared for your sessions. Attend your sessions and take an active part in them. Complete (or at least attempt) any "homework." Tell your counsellor if you don't think you're being helped.

Co-Dependency

2009-09-04T23:15:00.001-07:00

What is co-dependency? What’s the definition?

There are many definitions used to talk about co-dependency today. The original concept of co-dependency was developed to acknowledge the responses and behaviours people develop from living with an alcoholic or substance abuser. A number of attributes can be developed as a result of those conditions.

However, over the years, co-dependency has expanded into a definition which describes a dysfunctional pattern of living and problem solving developed during childhood by family rules.

One of many definitions of co-dependency is: a set of

*maladaptive,

*compulsive behaviours learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing

*great emotional pain and stress.

*maladaptive - inability for a person to develop behaviours which get needs met.

*compulsive - psychological state where a person acts against their own will or conscious desires in which to behave.

*sources of great emotional pain and stress - chemical dependency; chronic mental illness; chronic physical illness; physical abuse; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; divorce; hypercritical or non-loving environment.

As adults, co-dependent people have a greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are perhaps unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. And the co-dependent person tries to provide and control everything within the relationship without addressing their own needs or desires; setting themselves up for continued un fulfilment.

Even when a co-dependent person encounters someone with healthy boundaries, the co-dependent person still operates in their own system; they’re not likely to get too involved with people who have healthy boundaries. This of course creates problems that continue to recycle; if co-dependent people can’t get involved with people who have healthy behaviours and coping skills, then the problems continue into each new relationship.

How do I know if I’m co-dependent?

Generally, if you’re feeling unfulfilled consistently in relationships, you tend to be indirect, don’t assert yourself when you have a need, if you’re able to recognize you don’t play as much as others, or other people point out you could be more playful. Things like this can indicate you’re co-dependent.

What are some of the symptoms?

controlling behaviour
distrust
perfectionism
avoidance of feelings
intimacy problems
caretaking behaviour
hyper vigilance (a heightened awareness for potential threat/danger)
physical illness related to stress

Isn’t everyone co-dependent?

There are some natural and healthy behaviour mothers do with children that look like co-dependency. Are people mutually interdependent on each other? Yes. There is perhaps a continuum of co-dependency that most people might fall on. Maybe this continuum exists because so many people are taught not to be assertive, or to ask directly for their needs to be met? We probably can’t say though that everyone is co-dependent. Many people probably don’t feel fulfilled because of other things going on in the system at large.

Anne Wilson Schaef believes the whole society is addicted; the object of addiction isn’t the important issue, but rather that the environment sets us up to be addicted to something, i.e. food, sex, drugs, power, etc.

If that is true, then all of us are either addicts or co-dependents. From this perspective, society produces a pattern making it hard not to be co-dependent. But it still doesn’t change that we’re not getting what we need and we’re not feeling fulfilled. Then the question is how do I become more fulfilled and feel better about myself and the life I’m living?

Why do we become co-dependent? What causes it?

It’s widely believed we become co-dependent through living in systems (families) with rules that hinder development to some degree. The system (usually parents and relatives) has been developed in response to some problem such as alcoholism, mental illness or some other secret or problem.

General rules set-up within families that may because co-dependency may include:

It’s not okay to talk about problems
Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself
Communication is best if indirect; one person acts as messenger between two others; known in therapy as triangulation
Be strong, good, right, perfect
Make us proud beyond realistic expectations
Don’t be selfish
Do as I say not as I do
It’s not okay to play or be playful
Don’t rock the boat.

Many families have one or more of these rules in place within the family. These kinds of rules can constrict and strain the free and healthy development of people’s self-esteem, and coping. As a result, children can develop non-helpful behaviour characteristics, problems solving techniques, and reactions to situations in adult life

Melody Beattie writes that co-dependency is unique in that recovery can be fun and liberating. What does she mean?

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.

--Beverly Sills

Oftentimes, a part of being co-dependent is a resistance to being able to HAVE FUN AND PLAY! ;) So part of recovery from co-dependency is learning how to let go and have fun. Therefore it’s bound to be liberating, and fun as we learn how to let go and play.

How can counselling help?

For people with co-dependency, individual counselling can teach assertiveness, listening, and communication. Counselling can help you become more aware of non-helpful actions/behaviours, and work with you on developing new, healthier coping skills.

In the case of co-dependency though, counselling only helps if the counsellor is aware of their own tendency towards co dependence, or if the counsellor has some understanding about the addictive push in our society. Counsellors, in the case of co-dependency, need to present good boundary setting and healthy living themselves during sessions with clients. If a counsellor develops a working relationship with a client that has co-dependent qualities, again, the pattern is repeated, and therapy may not be as helpful. Some statistics show 50-80% of counsellors has not addressed their own co-dependency issues. So one must be careful in choosing a counsellor for this kind of support.

There are also self-help groups for co-dependency, called CODA groups. More information is available through local alcoholism services. If you can’t find a CODA group, there’s also ACA (adult children of alcoholics groups) that deal with similar issues CODA groups might deal with.

Communication

2009-09-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Communication

Good Communication involves

Listening,

Assertiveness,

And

Responsibility

.
Communication is about getting our needs met through and with others.
A primary problem in our society is people don’t understand each other because:

Lessons don't go away.
They keep presenting themselves
until we learn them.
-- Melodies Beattie

We don’t communicate our personal needs and dislikes in an assertive way.
We don’t understand what someone else is trying to convey to us.
Expressing our needs and dislikes
(setting "boundaries") involves:

assertiveness
use of "I" messages

Understanding others involves:

Good listening - The importance of "just" listening: read the poem called LISTEN.
Empathic responses - restating what was said without solutions, embellishment, or talking about ourselves. The focus stays on the other person.

Counselling professionals can help us evaluate our communication. Communication becomes an unconscious, automatic pattern that is difficult to change and involves practice and not just learning but un-learning the old familiar ways.

Communication is the healthy way of getting our needs met and stating our dislikes.

When effective communication is not used or learned, people learn unhealthy tactics to cope and meet their needs, such as:

non-verbal
passive-aggression
isolation
acting out
verbal aggression
passive/placating
numbing - "I don’t care"
depression

Getting our needs met by other avenues can have personal and social consequences:

Can damage current relationships and prevent new ones.
Can create unhealthy patterned relationships: co-dependent, enmeshed, distant.
Can become a part of our identity - who we believe we are: depressed, passive, numb, angry, aggressive, etc.
Basically, it can prevent healthy growth.

Bedwetting

2009-09-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

Bedwetting

Bedwetting or nocturnal enuresis is involuntary passage of urine while the child is asleep at an age beyond which the sphincter control is normally developed. An occasional lapse by child should not cause concern. Bedwetting is of two types - Persistent (or primary) type and the Regressive type. In persistent type child has never been dry at night and in regressive type, the sphincter control is developed at normal age and child remains dry for several months after which child again starts wetting bed at night.

Prevalence of nocturnal enuresis at 5 yrs of age is 7% for males and 3% for females. At 10 yrs of age it is 3% for males and 2% for females and at 18 yr of age it is 1% for males and rarely present in females. There is a marked familial pattern.

Persistent Type

Persistent type of bed wetting is due to delay in maturation of neurological control of sphincters. Persistent type of nocturnal enuresis may also be due to inadequate or inappropriate toilet training. Parents who demand rapid toilet training may generate an angry response, the child unconsciously defy them by wetting the bed. But on the other hand parents who do not understand the timely need of toilet training may undermine Childs effort to control the bladder.

One hypothesis also suggests that these children sleep deeply hence signal from distended bladder indicating the need to empty the bladder does not reach the conscious level of their brain during sleep.

Treatment for Persistent type of Nocturnal Enuresis

(a) Children should not be given liquids after dinner

(b) Child should void before going to sleep

(c) No punishment or humiliation of child

(d) Reward therapy - Reward the child for being dry at night

(e) Conditional devices (alarm that rings when child wets the sheet) is reserved for persistent and refractory cases and is successful in more than 90% cases.

(f) Bladder stretching exercises

(g) Drug treatment is effective only briefly and there is exacerbation of symptoms once drug is discontinued.

Regressive type

this type of bedwetting is precipitated by stressful environmental events such as birth of a sibling, death in family, marital conflict and moving to a new home.

Treatment for Regressive type of Nocturnal Enuresis

This type of bedwetting is transitory. Prognosis is better and management is easier than persistent type.

In both types of bedwetting organic pathology is found only in small number of cases. Organic causes such, as anomalies of urinary tract, juvenile diabetes; nephropathies and neurological illnesses should be excluded by physical examination and investigations.

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ANXIETY

2009-09-04T22:46:00.001-07:00

ANXIETY

Anxiety is different from stress. Anxiety comes from a concern lack of control over circumstances. In some cases being anxious and worrying over a problem may generate a solution. Normally, however it will just result in negative thinking.

Albert Ellis listed the five main unrealistic desires or beliefs that cause anxiety.

The desire always to have the love and admiration of all people important to you. This is unrealistic because you have no control over other peoples minds; people can have bad days, can see things in odd ways, can make mistakes or can be plain disagreeable and awkward.

The desire to always be thoroughly competent. This is unrealistic because you only achieve competence at a new level by making mistakes. Everybody has bad days and makes mistakes. Once of the benefits of training with better athletes is that you can see them making mistakes and having bad days too.

The belief that external factors cause all misfortune. Often negative events can be caused by your own negative attitudes. Similarly your own negative attitudes can cause you to view neutral events negatively. Another athlete might find something positive in something you view as a problem.

The desire that events should always turn out the way that you want them to and people should always do what you want. Other people have their own agendas and do what they want to do.

The belief that everything that has happened in the past will inevitably condition and control what has happened in the future. Very often things can be improved or changed if you try hard enough, or look at things in a different way.

ANXIETY-STATE
a transitory experience of fear and apprehensiveness, specific to the situation

ANXIETY-TRAIT
a stable, long term pre disposition to the easy arousal and maintenance of a state of apprehensiveness

ANXIETY DISORDERS

GENERALISED
Anxiety is a universal experience, which has an important protective function in the face of danger. It becomes morbid when symptoms are out of proportion to external circumstances or if they persist long after a threatening situation has been averted. However there is no clear distinction between the features of normal and pathological anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety are prominent in other psychiatric disorders, such as depressive illness and schizophrenia, so it is important to look for features of these conditions before making a diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Several physical illnesses can also present with anxiety.

These need to be considered in the differential diagnosis but special investigations are necessary only when there are suggestive features in the history or clinical examination.

If operational criteria are used generalized anxiety disorder has a prevalence of between 2.0 and 5.0% with women being more susceptible than men.

Etiological factors
Genetic studies indicate there is a small genetic contribution. Many patients appear to have personality traits of high anxiety and poor tolerance of stress but perhaps the most important factors are unexpected life events, which the patient cannot handle. Sometimes these are relatively minor events, within the range of everyday experience. A particular pattern of anxiety, known as posttraumatic stress disorder, follows the major traumatic events involved in sudden, unexpected disasters such as floods, accidents and terrorist activity.

Clinical features
They are conveniently divided into two groups, psychological and somatic and are shown in the information box below.

SYMPTOMS OF ANXITEY DISORDER

Psychological

Apprehension

Fears of impending disaster

Irritability

Depersonalization

Head ache

Somatic

Tremor

Sweating

Palpitation

Chest pain

Breathlessness

Increased blood pressure

Any of these can from the main presenting symptoms; if somatic symptoms predominate the patient is likely to regard himself as physically ill, a view which is often shared initially by the
doctor.

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What is anxiety?

2009-09-04T22:43:00.001-07:00

What is anxiety? Is it treatable, normal?

Anxiety is a normal part of all human processes. It exists for most people in situations that are new, challenging, dangerous, etc. If our anxiety level increases enough, we may become apprehensive and notice physiological effects like increased heart rate. In most situations, anxiety is normal and healthy, and not something that needs to be treated. However, sometimes healthy anxiety in situations such as giving speeches can rise to unhealthy (painful) levels. In situations such as those, the anxiety can be reduced to more tolerable levels with therapy: self talk therapy, relaxation and visualization therapies; all can be used to release or reduce these kinds of anxious thoughts and feelings.

However, some people suffer from an anxiety disorders which can reach higher levels of physical discomfort. Some side-effects that may develop from anxiety might be heart palpitations, shortness of breath, perspiration, racing thoughts, sometimes a desire to flee, inward shakiness, dizziness, difficulty breathing, faintness, chest pain, gastric cramps, headaches, and many more physical side-effects. Many of these symptoms can be part of a generalized anxiety disorder, but if you have them severely enough, they’re called panic attacks. But always remember to consult medical help first when having these kinds of severe physical side-effects.

In some people, anxiety can become such a frequent feeling that it becomes the regular way to feel, and goes unrecognized by themselves and others. This is a big problem since ongoing anxiety can damage relationships, and lower self-esteem (the roots to happiness).

Does anxiety have a neurological basis? Is it hereditary?

Yes, it looks like anxiety does have a neurological basis, but we don’t have evidence of it being hereditary. It looks like anxiety has a neurological basis because we’ve discovered the brain has certain receptors called Benzodiazepine receptors (read about Benzodiazepines) which are involved in the regulation of anxiety. Our body normally produces as its own natural anti-anxiety substances so when we’re experiencing a lot of stress, we can calm down. People who have chronic anxiety may suffer from a deficiency in their anxiety regulating system, and may benefit from anti-anxiety medications. General, mild forms of anxiety usually require one or two counselling sessions to help develop a plan to reduce and release anxiety. Folks with chronic anxiety disorders, have had a great deal of success with longer-term-therapy, which helps them restructure their way of experiencing the world, and they may also benefit from anti-anxiety agents, used in specific circumstances for short periods of time.

Two people in the same situation; one becomes anxious, one does not; why?

It could be a combination of factors or purely environmental conditioning. Environmental conditioning can have an effect on our physical and internal state. For instance, a woman who was frequently beaten as a child is sitting with a man who suddenly raises his arm to swat a mosquito. The woman who was beaten as a child is environmentally conditioned, so she flinches and feels anxious, while the other woman has no reaction at all. But the most predominant factor in anxiety is self-esteem and self-image. Someone with low self-esteem or efficacy who is put in a challenging situation is much more likely to feel anxious than someone who believes in their abilities. And finally, people with anxiety disorders can feel anxious in many situations, even without the presence of a threat.

How does one’s anxiety affect other people?

Anxious people can annoy or spur anxiety in others. Generally, anxious people create discomfort in others, and thus, most people prefer not to be around them.

Is a panic attack different than an anxiety attack?

Anxiety attack is really not the proper term to use. Proper terms involve describing the various degrees of anxiety (such as mild, moderate, or severe), or to use the clinical term panic attack. Sometimes, people feel a sudden surge of anxiety; if the surge is strong enough it is referred to clinically as a panic attack. Panic attacks are much more than the anxiety that most people feel. They can produce gastric distress, nausea and shortness of breath, palpitations and so forth. Repeat panic attacks can create a fear of getting close to whatever is associated with the panic attack.

What are some physical side affects of anxiety? Can anxiety kill me?

As far as we know, there are no definitive findings regarding the long term physical side effects, or deaths related to anxiety. Anxiety in its severest forms does seem to put a lot of stress on a person’s body, but we don’t have any absolute studies showing anxiety will cause any particular serious health problems.

What can I do when I’m feeling anxious?

There are many self help books which teach strategies to ease anxiety. Some of these basic strategies involve slowing down breathing, monitoring physical side-effects, visualizing a relaxing or successful image, self-hypnosis and others. Many of these can be learned on your own or with a therapist’s help.

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Anger

2009-09-04T22:33:00.001-07:00

What is anger?

Simply put, anger is an emotion like all other emotions. Emotions are signposts into our internal structure. It’s simply something we feel.

Act as if what you do
makes a difference.
It does. - William James

How do we become angry?

There is a direct and an indirect process of becoming angry. If we are referring to anger as an emotion like sadness, hurt, or joy, anger is simply a direct feeling response. So something happens, and we may react to it with feeling hurt, angry, or some other emotion.

However, anger can also be a secondary emotion. Many people (particularly males) are trained to accept the feeling of anger, but not to accept the feelings that may have preceded it; such as feelings of hurt, fear, or vulnerability. Sometimes when we feel hurt or vulnerable, we immediately jump to anger because that’s more acceptable to us. In this context, it becomes a secondary emotion, it’s the feeling we can tolerate rather than such feelings as hurt or vulnerability.

When does anger become unhealthy? How do I know?

Anger is unhealthy when it gets in the way of your functioning or your relationships; if anger is causing you to loose friends put your job in jeopardy, if people complain to you about your anger, if you hear people talking about you having a bad temper. These are signs that your anger is getting in your way, and therefore it’s unhealthy.

Does anger have a neurological basis? Is it hereditary?

No, anger doesn’t have a neurological basis any more than any other feeling. And no, it isn’t hereditary. There are people who suffer from a certain kind of illness called intermittent explosive disorder. This illness results in anger being used as a secondary emotion, prompting an outbreak of rage, smashing things, yelling at people and so forth. There may be some hereditary basis to this, but there is no clear evidence at the present.

Can medication help treat anger?

Certain kinds of anti-depressants reduce explosive disorders, and also reduce anxiety. But generally, medication is not used to directly treat anger. Anti-depressants are more often used to temporarily relieve symptoms associated with anger, such as anxiety or depression.

Is there a pattern and process to becoming angry?

When it’s a secondary emotion, there’s the process of moving from whatever the original emotion is to the anger, because it’s too hard to stay with the original feelings.

Two people in the same situation; one becomes angry, one does not; why?

It’s the same as with any other feeling. We are affected by the interpretation we have of an event. Some people become angry because they read something into an event which could cause hurt or pain that can eventually translates into anger. Somebody else either reads something else into the event or doesn’t read much into the event at all and therefore doesn’t feel the anger.

How does one’s anger affect other people?

How does anger affect relationships?

In particular, the violence that women and children face (primarily from men) is a result of anger. Anger can very much affect other people if it’s tied into threat of violence, or into violence itself. It also tends to shut down the people who are around the angry person. Angry people may find their relationship becoming less open because people are afraid to argue back. This can be devastating, and ruin relationships.

What are some physical side affects of anger?

Can anger kill me?

There seems to be some small amount of physical side effects. There is clear evidence of increased blood pressure, and with increased blood pressure is a propensity towards a stroke.

What can I do when I’m feeling angry?

You can attempt to process it. Think through right and wrong. Get clear about what your underlying feelings are. Pardon the cliché, but take a "time-out". Remember, anger is a feeling that is here today, gone tomorrow, but the pain and backlash we inflict on others during anger are harder forgotten. If the anger is so intense that processing and time-outs don’t help, the best next options are to release the anger through activity or towards inanimate objects. It’s also best if you do this alone, because even releasing anger on inanimate objects can be threatening to other people. After you get alone, you can do things like using a bat on a couch or pillow. Some other ideas for releasing anger might be playing basketball, racquetball, jumping rope, taking a pet for a walk, watching television, or reading a newspaper article. These are all excellent ways to take a time-out or release anger appropriately. Remember, the option that is NEVER available is hitting another person. *You have the right to be angry, but you do not have the right to hit someone.

I’ve been told to keep my cool and don’t get angry, but sometimes I can’t. I’m so frustrated!

The question is, do you have something to be angry about? Sometimes people treat us poorly, and don’t expect us to respond. If you’re in conditions which frequently upset you, then it makes sense to start looking for, or creating other conditions. So often we want to change what other people do that initiates our anger. That’s part of the anger problem; so often people do things differently than we want. Getting angry is not going to change what other people do, and usually does not change or improve the situation much. The key to resolving anger issues is to get in touch with what is going on inside yourself, and to take care of yourself. Being frustrated by your anger plays into being more angry. If you really are having a struggle with being angry, recognize it, and give yourself a chance to work with it, to figure out what’s fuelling it, and how you can let go of it. For a few people, emotions, particularly like anger, can become like a habit; addictive in their pattern. They get a release of endorphins every time they get angry. But most important to remember, is anger is best used if processed, rather than acted on spontaneously.

Do men get angry more than women?

No. There is no evidence of this at all. However, in our society, obvious anger by men is more acceptable than obvious anger by women. We see anger in women quite frequently too, but usually more subtly than the anger seen in men. Only two generations ago, a woman had to exhibit her anger only in ways that people wouldn’t be able to pick it up. There’s still some of that hiding of anger by women, but that doesn’t mean women get angry any less than men. Anger is not part of how we identify women in the culture, but it is part of how we identify men. Therefore a woman being angry is less acceptable.

Sometimes I go back and forth from depressed to angry. Why?

It depends on where your anger is coming from, or where your depression is coming from. If you’re in a terrible situation or have been in a situation that is very hurtful to you, then at times you may feel sad and disillusioned about yourself and the future. And at other times you may be enraged at the situation, another person, or yourself. It’s important to examine what’s going on in your life. If things seem to be fine, yet you go back and forth between depression and anger, chances are that the anger is a cover up for the depression or vice versa. Depression can also occur if we’re in situations where we aren’t allowed to feel/show anger, then depression may be what we replace it with.

How do I let someone know I’m angry?

Should I wait until I "cool down"?

Ideally, we stay very much in touch with our feelings and we let people know what those feelings are best while we’re still feeling them. Anger within the context of it being just an emotion, like all other emotions, can be stated plainly, "I’m angry about xyz." However, because anger can be such a strong emotion, and feel so personal, many times we’re better waiting for some of the "heat of the moment" to cool down before we talk about what’s troubling us. More often than not however, our "angry" feelings are primarily due to other feelings such as feeling hurt or abandoned. So what we can say to another person is, "I’m feeling hurt, abandoned and angry about what you just did". Unfortunately, what happens to a lot of people is they sit on things, and then it all comes out in an angry outburst. Within this context, it’s important to let a person know you’re angry in a way that’s not deliberately hurtful to them. It’s important to understand anger, and to view it not as a separate and unwanted feeling, but rather one of the many feelings. We need to be willing to let others know how we feel about all feelings, not just anger. Revealing feelings can leave us feeling vulnerable, and therefore, it is true courageousness.

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